Ways that Florida is different from the former Soviet Union

In Florida, as opposed to in Moldova:

  • People in kindergartens smile at kids – they act like they’re happy to see you!
  • There’s blessed A/C!
  • There are no goats randomly crossing crosswalks.
  • There are no hills. Anywhere.
  • Grocery stores are filled with stuff. (Reminding me of Veggie Tales… “Stuff stuff, mart mart”… and “How much stuff do youneed to be happy?” Replied to with “well, how much stuff is there?”)
  • There are entire aisles dedicated to breakfast cereal, but only 1/16th of an aisle for ketchup and mayonnaise.
  • People go to WalMart in pajamas.
  • There’s a WalMart to go to.
  • Police officers smile.
  • We do most of our shopping indoors.
  • Milk lasts a whole week! (Instead of a whole day)
  • You seldom see chickens – live ones, that is.
  • Dogs are domesticated, not wild in the streets.
  • I have to drive everywhere.
  • I have a car to drive anywhere!
  • I drive to the store even if it’s only 1/4 mile away.
  • There’s this funny thing called customer service…
  • My limited Russian is thought of as ‘exotic,’ not weak.
  • My near-perfect Romanian is thought of as irrelevant, not shocking good for a foreigner…
  • Moms with 3 young kids are everywhere
  • It’s hard to find good beets
  • I rarely see bulldozers driving down the road next to BMWs
  • Horse-pulled-carriages are a novelty sight at kitchy theme parks
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