I’ve been struggling for a while with some important questions. Questions like, how can I contribute to the family finances? Shouldn’t my children see me in the role of an income-earner, not just a ‘homemaker’?, do the tradition gender roles really work for me, and for us? And if I make my world revolve around my children, how will they understand that they are not the center of the world (’buricul pamintului‘ - or the world’s belly-button, in Romanian)?

I just read a post that Owlhaven pointed out over at Casaubon’s blog.  It gave me some good thinking points. And some good talking points with my hubby. We’re in a good place in life to make changes. In fact, some changes are being imposed on us. Hubby can either stay with his company and let them transfer us across the pond, or he’ll be ‘granted the freedom’ to find other means of earning an income. It really is a place that allows us to do some soul searching. We have the opportunity to re-evaluate our values and how we can mold our lifestyle to resemble our values more closely. Change is being imposed on us, but we have the freedom to decide what that change will look like. It’s somewhat scary, but also exciting.

I’ve been working through questions about simplifying our life, and this change may be the impetus to do that. Things like learning to garden, eating what we grow, learning to sew and making our own clothes, letting the kids play a more meaningful role in maintaining the home as they grow up (maybe helping choose what we plant, instead of just tossing a pile of clothes into the wash). We’ve worked through the issues of having the kids grandparents move in with us. And right now, I think we have 2 options. We either move closer to that set of grandparents (and, unfortunately farther away from the other set - that’s what happens with marriages across nationalities), and into a smaller home where we can walk to most places we need to go. That would mean accepting the transfer to a place where life is a bit simpler.  Or, we stay in this country but move to an area farther from the city, a place where we can know our neighbors, grow veggies in the garden, make more of our own clothing, and have the grandparents move in. If we leave  the country, my hubby will continue to run the rat race, so to speak. I’ll continue to fill the traditional role of homemaker or stay at home mom (pick your terminology). If we stay in this country I don’t know what our life will look like. Maybe me and hubby can start that business I’ve been wanting to start. Or maybe we could start mine as well as one of the ones he wants to start. Maybe we can both take an active role in raising the kids and taking care of the home.

The ground is shifting, and thought it’s scary it gives us the power to decide where we’ll stand when the tide recedes. And I can only look at that as progress. As the ground shifts, we’ll cling to the Solid rock of our foundation, and we’ll trust that He’ll guide us through it. My biggest hope is that we’ll find a way that truly does put the way we spend our time and our resources in perfect alignment with our values.