My very good friend Jessica has returned to blogging after a wee sabbatical. She’s one of those truly interesting people who keeps you on your toes. She lives in Christian community - really, the kind where they have all things in common and encourage each other in the Word and seek to live more like Christ. Together. In unity. She’s a deep thinker with profound ideas and a quick wit. And she’s getting ready to go onto college campuses to minister to international students - where better to share the gospel with unreached people groups and creative-access countries than right here? She’s awesome. Head over and check her blog out. She’s also a freelance writer and you’ll find some of her creative juices flowing there.

Yesterday my in-laws arrived. Not for a visit, or for the holidays. But to move in. They arrived around 9:30 last night after 17 hours of flying and 4 hours in customs. It was a long day.

And it was wonderful to see them. The kids cuddled with them this morning - even though it was the first time they’d met. My in-laws said this is like heaven for them. Not having to work - for the first time in their lives (as in, they’ve never, ever taken a vacation), spending time with their grandkids, and having everything they need (shelter, food, heating, etc.) provided for them. They think our home is heavenly.

They think I’m the most gifted interior decorator this side of the Atlantic. And the best cook in the history of the planet. (I’m not deceiving myself - they only think that because they hadn’t eaten in 2 days.) They’re wonderful. They love spending time loving on my kids.

I love lying down for a rest in the middle of the morning. So apparently, this is working out just fine. Pictures will come soon. Probably after I’ve had time to lie down and recoup from the tizzy of cleaning-madness I’ve just put myself through.

My very good friend, D., has recently started her own blog.  Head over and read her latest post, and rejoice with her!

Her son (one of the cutest kids ever, and just a few months past a year) has seen a whole battery of doctors for a slew of different things, and some of them had some pretty gloomy things to say. But her little one is proving them wrong! Go share her joy and leave her a comment. I know she’d appreciate it.

My company arrived last night at 9:30, just as I was putting the last sheet on the last air mattress. And let me just say, time with old friends is sweet indeed. And extra sweet this time, because I never got much of a chance to get to know their kids, and they are such great individuals. I’m absolutely loving having them here!

Today they went to the Georgia Aquarium with my hubby, and I’m taking time to stay home and rest a bit while the kids nap. Feeding them is like feeding an army, but they’re grateful and complimentary and polite and it’s so worth it to be a blessing to them in this difficult time of transition. See, the mom and dad are checking out the US and in a little over a week they’re going back to Moldova. They’ll leave 2 of their kids in the US - but they don’t know where or how. Stress. In fact, we may end up keeping them with us. We’ll see.

But, we are having a wonderful time of fellowship and building relationships. But with all this food being thrown around and a very short time for this family to accomplish what they want, I’ll be scarce around the blogosphere for a few more days. I assume it’ll get along just fine without me…

As if Little Man’s seizure, medical appointments, home renovation, and starting a business isn’t enough for me… Some friends of ours from Moldova just immigrated to the US, are living about 500 miles away from us, but they’re driving down this week to see us. Honestly, it’s great news and I can’t wait to see them. But, they have their 4 teenagers coming with them. Now, I love their kids too. But that means 6 relatively full-grown people in my house. Cooking for them is a bit of an issue (I’ve never cooked for this many people before), but the real issue is furniture. We only have 4 chairs at the dining table. Our main seating area (the living room) is completely destroyed (as in no furniture, no wall, concrete slab floor with nails sticking up). Our family room seats 6 if we really squeeze in (not 10). And I’m in the process of borrowing sleeping bags and hopefully some twin mattresses from friends. We can squeeze the 4 teens into Little Man’s room and roll his crib over to Bean’s room - I think that will be the least disruptive. And I’m going on faith that I can actually fit 4 beds into one room. Here’s to hoping!

So if I’m a little scarce this week - please understand. I have to make my house a little less of a wreck for our guests, and figure out how on earth to serve food to 10 people for a whole week! Breakfast, lunch, and dinner… For a week. 10 people. But we’ll figure it out. Heck, Jesus fed 5,000. Surely he’ll give me the ability to feed a fraction of that.

Yummy goodness

It’s flag day and my good friend is hosting a party for our discipleship group, along with our children and spouses. 18 kids in all, belonging to 13 adults. It’ll be a romping good time.

So I’m bringing pasta salad, a festive flag cake made with orange extract (mmm…) and the biggest bags of Cheetos and Kettle Chips this side of the Mississippi.

Post script: And in fact I do have a reason to celebrate Flag Day this year - my brother is coming home tomorrow after 16 months of deployment in Afghanistan. Hooray!!!

Bean turned 3 a few weeks ago. I struggled with what to do for her birthday, and all she wanted was a purple dinosaur cake. So we did the cake, hubby and I got her a new trike, and at the last minute we invited over 2 of her closest friends. That’s right, just 2. And we asked them not to bring gifts. (Oh! the scandal!)

One of the guests did as I asked. No gifts. But her kids (all 4 of them) colored pictures for Bean - and that meant the world to her. The other mom felt the need to buy a gift, and I can understand that. But Bean loved her birthday - she got some books and a few toys from family members, she had her purple dinosaur cake, and most importantly, she had a blast playing with her closest friends. And for some reason, when I talk to other moms, I always feel the need to justify the fact that we did a small party. And I don’t even tell people that we asked for no gifts… what would they think?!

Today we went to the 3rd birthday party of one of Bean’s classmates. For her 3rd birthday there were about 15 kids, and double that number of adults. There were so many kids that we never really saw the birthday girl. They rented a bounce house, had a kitchen full of pizza delivered, and then brought the kids inside to open presents. And let me tell you, there were more presents than I could have imagined. A whole room full of presents. And that 3 year old went through them like wild fire. Opened one, looked at it, said “oooh, wow!” and then was ready to move on. There was one moment as she was opening her gifts when I thought that my kids were missing out. I mean, this little girl was getting oodles of dresses and princess costumes and pajamas and games and toys - there was nothing she didn’t have. And my kids’ lives will never be like that. So for a brief moment I thought that I should be proving more for my kids.

And then I realized that as I watched the birthday girl, she had no interest in most of it. She wasn’t very thankful. Sure, her mom was modeling the perfect amount of excitement over every gift. Mom was telling her to say thank you to the proper people at the proper time. But the birthday girl couldn’t care less. In fact, she kept trying to escape from the onslaught of toys and gifts to go back outside and play.

Gifts and toys aren’t what my kids need. I’m glad those parents gave their little girl a memorable third birthday - and got it all on film. I’m glad they did the bounce house - all the kids loved it. But I’m quite happy with Bean’s 2-invitee party. And I’m still happy that I asked people not to bring gifts. She doesn’t need them. She didn’t miss them. And sitting at this party today, she didn’t even notice that there was a whole room full of gifts. There was no jealous green monster wondering why some kids have more ’stuff’ than others. That’s not what she needs. She needs time. That’s her love language. Quality time. Attention. To be listened to and have her opinions and thoughts validated. She needs a safe place to explore who she is and what’s important to her. And to know that she’s loved, even when her behavior isn’t at its most lovable.

I don’t know what we’ll do next year. I don’t know if her parties will continue to be this small. I don’t know if I’ll ask people again not to bring gifts. I think that might get harder as she gets older. There will things that she wants. She’s an awfully observant kid. But one of the values I want my kids to have is longing. Not wanting everythin, or being jealous about what others have. But knowing what you truly want, and being willing to hold out for it. I don’t want them to have instant gratification - to get everything they want. It’s more important for them to always be reaching for something. Is that so terrible? I think it will serve them better in the long term than tens of their friends bringing truckloads of toys. There’s something special about a celebration, and gift-giving is an important thing in any child’s life, as is learning to receive gifts with thankfulness. But there’s something about a hopeful expectation, and being able to discern between things of value and just plain ’stuff.’ That’s what I want my kids to know.

I moved to this town 3 years ago. In those 3 years I found lots of superficial friends. The friends that you have based on circumstance - you happen to attend the same church, or your kids are the same age, or you live in the same subdivision. People you have a little in common with, you invite them to dinner and have a good time with them. But when something awful happens you don’t want to burden them with the details. We’ve got tons of those. And even some that could - and would - share our sorrows. But I know that when circumstances change - when the kids have other friends, or when we don’t live so close, those relationships will pass us by. And that’s okay. There’s a need for people like that in your life, and I’m glad I have a large handful of them. I appreciate them and all the support they give me.

But finally, I found a friend that I can really connect with. Someone who I expect to be a long-term friend. We have circumstances that brought us together - we go to the same church, we’re in a discipleship group together, our youngest were born on the same day and my oldest is the same age as her 3rd child. We’ve celebrated birthdays together, spent Easter together, had lots of play dates and a handful of meals together, her oldest did a couple of school projects to send care packages to my brother in Afghanistan, but that’s about all - our shared history is really pretty short.

But what really holds us together is that we truly get each other. She can speak to my heart. When I’m going through something, she knows just the questions to ask. She has all the right answers, and wisdom for the moment. And I can do the same for her - or at least I try. And we’ve both verbalized it. That we get each other. That we’re important to each other. And that’s so key! I don’t think I’ve really verbalized that in any other friendships - and I’m not sure I’ve had any other friends who get me that well.

She just found out that she’s moving. Her husband has been offered a great job with a company that he’s excited about working for. Far away. Like, 800 miles away. It’s great for her and her family in a lot of ways. In fact, it’s the city they lived in before they moved here. It’s where her mom is. But moving is always stressful and she has a lot to be sad about. And I have a lot to be sad about. I know our friendship can last through this. But it’s still a new friendship. We don’t have that shared history - that treasure trove of years’ worth of fond memories to fall back on. And so I’m afraid. I’m afraid that she’ll get to her new city and find all her old friends, and make new friends, and we’ll both be too busy to bother with occasional phone calls. And we’ll become so disconnected that the glue of “getting” each other will be gone. I’ll no longer be able to speak the words she needs to hear, and she’ll no longer be able to do the same for me.

In Russian and Romanian, and I assume in lots of other languages too, “friend” is a word reserved for only the closest relationships. Everyone else is an acquaintance, co-worker, neighbor, or something else. But a friend is someone you know you can count on. Even at 2 AM. It’s the person you can call no matter when or what for, and not feel guilty about waking them or disturbing their meal. A friend is someone you can talk to about anything, and know that they won’t judge you. At the same time, you can trust them to tell you the truth, and it won’t hurt coming from them. It’s taken me so long to find someone like that. And I’m so sad that she’s going away.

She knows that this is where God is leading her family. And she has peace about it. And that’s good enough for me. But man! why right now? So I’ m sad today. I haven’t even asked when they’re due to leave - I’m afraid to find out. Just sad.