Things that don’t work to evict a baby induce labor (yes, I’ve tried all of these in recent days):

• Jumping with your kids at the Jump Zone (one of those bounce house party places)
• Scalini’s eggplant parmesan (well, it worked for Bean, but not baby #3. And a 50/50 chance doesn’t do it for me.)
• Olive Garden’s eggplant parmesan
• Homemade chicken parmesan (chicken monterey-jack really, because I was out of parmesan) - they say the combination of basil and oregano helps… I beg to differ. After 3 nights in a row, it didn’t do squat.
• Spicy foods
• Walking. A lot.
• Jumping on a trampoline.
• Bouncing and rocking on a yoga ball.
• Pineapple - but if you eat a whole one all at once, it’ll make your tongue burn.
• Pressure points in your hands, legs, and feet
• Oxytocin and prostaglandins - as boosted by ‘certain activities’ (this is a G-rated blog…)
• Rolling my hips in circles - but it did provide plenty of entertainment for anyone who caught a glance of it.
• Spending time on my hands and knees on the floor, arching and rolling my back - ditto for the entertainment factor.
• Pushing down on my belly (entirely unscientific, but something keeps telling me that gravity needs a little help)

Anyone? Ideas? I’m not willing to do castor oil, and my midwife advised me not to try black or blue cohosh.

Actually, today was my personal deadline for delivery before my due (the baby’s actually due next Sunday). I have too much going on this week to be in the hospital in labor. Wednesday we see Liam’s neurosurgeon and Friday is Bean’s 4th birthday. So for now, I’m done with trying to induce myself. At this point I’m hoping the baby waits until next weekend. Of course, if he doesn’t come on Saturday I’ll be doing jumping jacks on the trampoline while eating spicy foods and pushing down on my belly with one hand while I use the other to push on pressure points and simultaneously rolling my hips in circles. It’ll be quite a sight to see.

I haven’t gone into labor yet, but last night I went here and had this:

I’ve called the doctor’s office every day since Liam’s MRI. Every day they’ve told me the same thing… The doctor is in surgery, someone will call you when he gets out of surgery. (I have a feeling he’s gotten out of surgery a few times since I started calling. Just a hunch.)

Today they called back. “It’s nothing to be alarmed about, but the doctor will need to discuss this with you in person.” And somehow, that shouldn’t be alarming. So again we wait. Until April 2nd. I’ve been having some pretty strong contractions since I got the phone call. But at this point I don’t know if they’re labor contractions, another bout of false labor, or just pure stress wrecking havoc on my body. But since my little false labor episode, I’m not letting contractions get my hopes up.

Now if only I can keep this baby’s birth from interfering with Little Man’s appointment with the neurosurgeon next week, and Bean’s birthday 2 days after that.

Today was the big day, and a big day it was. A stressful, hard day. And we’re very happy that it’s over.

I think this was his hardest MRI so far. First off, he knew where we were, he knew why we were there, and he remembered what happens there. As if that memory and anticipation wasn’t hard enough, they were delayed by 2 hours. And 2 hours for a very scared boy who hasn’t been allowed to eat or drink is an eternity.

When they were finally ready for him, we got the ‘best’ nurse for his IV, but she failed twice. After that she called in the “IV team” - they thankfully got him on their first try. But the whole ordeal of putting in the IV took over 45 minutes of traumatic screaming.

The good news is that this time there were no complications - once sedated he skated through the MRI and woke up easily. He’s a trooper.

I woke up yesterday and grinned. I was having contractions every 6 minutes. Angels were singing in my bedroom. I got up and finished packing the diaper bag, and by then the contractions were coming every 5 minutes. Oh happy day!

But wouldn’t you know it? My very last contraction came as I walked through the door of the hospital. Yes, performance anxiety must have set in. It was declared to be false labor, and after several hours of monitoring and a handful of tests, I was sent home, mostly contraction-free.

Hopefully this is a sign that actual labor is imminent. But, I won’t complain if it waits another day - today is Liam’s MRI, and it would be awfully inconvenient for my water to break while my toddler is fully anesthetized.

… In my head, I turned my April 6th due date into a mental due date of March 9th (when I hit 36 weeks). Since then I’ve tried everything to get this baby to come out. And in my head, it seems entirely unfair that I’ve had to carry him for a full 37 weeks now, as if it’s something strange to carry a baby even one day past 36 weeks. I’m conveniently forgetting that I carried my first to 41 1/2 weeks. Why is it that all of a sudden 40 weeks seems like torture on a grand scale? I actually walked around the house last night after the kids were in bed muttering “dumb uterus… stupid womb…” Somewhere between 35 and 37 weeks, bitterness set in. I wonder if this is normal… And would a 4th pregnancy be even worse? (That is, if I should suffer temporary insanity and decide to get pregnant again)

Little Man just learned a new trick. He runs up to someone, scratches his chin, and says “hmmm…”

It’s adorable. Of course, after doing it to one person, he then has to run around and show off his new ’skill’ to everyone. I think what makes it even better is that it’s always preceded by a little jump. He knows how to get attention.

Bean and I fight through the day. She hates to wash her hands. I don’t know why and I don’t remember when it started. But we have certain rules - hands have to be washed after using the bathroom, after going outside, and before eating. It’s been this way for ages - literally, we started it before she was old enough to protest.

But, solution found this week!!! (Drumroll please?) Fancy soaps! She has a little butterfly bar of soap in the downstairs bath and a flower soap in the upstairs bath. I don’t even have to remind her to wash hands anymore. She does it on her own, and she’ll even come and find me if I’m not with her to ask me to help her turn the water on if she can’t reach it. No prompting, no fighting, no rewards necessary. Just pretty soap. Yeah! Thank goodness our local dollar store carries a variety!

Head over to Shannon’s place at Rocks in My Dryer for more helpful tips.

Phobias bring nightmares, and that’s something we have a lot of in our house, especially with Bean.

We’ve found that praying with her usually helps calm her, so that’s what I did last night around midnight when she was in a tizzy over the ‘voices’ (bubbles from the humidifier). When we finished praying though, she asked (drumroll, please)

“Mama, can God stay with me tonight?”

Apparently, enough time has passed since Bean’s phobia of air and she’s decided she can’t go another day without pinning her fears on something.

I shouldn’t be surprised that it’s bugs. She’s always been pretty darn afraid of them, but in the last 24 hours it’s taken a severe turn for the worse. She can barely go 5 minutes without seeing a bug, imagining that she sees a bug, mistaking something for a bug, or anticipating that a bug might come. And whenever that happens (any of the above - you pick) she erupts into uncontrollable screaming. And screeching. And crying. She needs to be carried (which is hard when I’m 35 weeks pregnant). She also needs the complete undivided attention of anyone within a 5 mile radius. (Do you live in my zip code? You’d be able to tell because you would have heard her screeching once every 5 minutes or so today.)

Let’s see… the air phobia only lasted about 2 months. I’m not sure what brought this one on, except maybe the arrival of spring brought out bugs that she hasn’t seen in many month. But what’s a mom to do as spring continues on into summer and the bugs become more prolific?

Little Man is catching on too. He’s starting to do what Bean does, excusing it with the statement, “Fade layboo!” (translation: Afraid of ladybugs!) I could point out that ladybugs have yet to make their appearance, but I don’t think that would really solve the issue.

Here’s hoping we get over this one in under 2 months.