I’ve come to a point in my parenting where the sheer 3-ness grates on my nerves. The whining. The refusing to share. The tantrums. And we all know that tantrums love an audience.
I’ve discovered a new tactic and I LOVE it! It only works at home, unfortunately. I haven’t found a trick yet to use when we’re out. But here it is… When she starts whining, or refuses to share, or is reveling in her 3-ness, I send her to room. I don’t take her there, or call it time out or the naughty seat. I just tell her to go to her room – until she’s ready to share / stop whining / etc. It’s amazing. She sulks off to her room, disappears behind a closed door for a minute or two, then comes out smiling and announces, “Okay, I’m ready!”
(I seem to remember my mother doing something like this to me… Only it was phrased differently – “don’t come out until…” I prefer the positive-ness of “please come join us as soon as you’re ready to…”)
snowffairy said,
June 6, 2007 @ 8:05 am
I, too like the possitive phrasing.
This used to be my standard MO, but I’ve actually found it to be in/counter-effective with dd#2.
She will actually wail (what seems to me) unhealthy lengths of time when left alone. Her wailing seems largely… reactionary rather than (primarily) attention seeking.
e.g., yesterday she acted over-tired (all. day.) and would *wail* at every infraction from her older sister (these, generally, were not imagined). She would also wail at every surprise/thwarted expectation.
Typically she has always been the type of child who needs help ramping down, so any of these situations I would leave (or send) her to cry it out do not end in 30-45 minutes alone on her bed.
If I keep her on a “local” time-out (in the room with us) it drives me nuts, but usually subsides to wounded sniffling in 10(?) minutes or so.
Basically there’s a better chance it stays “focused” on the actual trigger and therefore is more likely to wear off.
I absolutely *hate* this method, but I don’t have anything that works better. (Do you?)