My 3 year old uses crying and whining to manipulate us. Knowing that she’s an emotional child, I usually have a little more patience with her than I probably should. But I’m always careful not to discipline her for being emotional – since that’s how she’s hard-wired.
So I tried a new tactic this morning. As she collapsed on the floor in mid-whine because we ran out of toast and I was substituting toast, I told her that she was being disrespectful. And I said the Bible tells us to respect and honor our mother and father, and she’s not doing that. And that makes me sad and it makes God sad. That provoked her to thought. Then she straightened up and started playing.
At that point (eureka!) I told her how much it makes me happy when she gives me respect and honor, and it makes God even happier. Her response? “And Jesus is happy too!” I don’t know how long this tactic will work, but I’ve used it twice this morning, and it worked perfectly both times. I was just told at a parenting conference this weekend that it isn’t enough to teach your children the Bible verses about respect – you have to teach them what it looks like by reinforcing when they’re doing it and correcting when they’re not. So here’s to showing them what it looks like!
For more works for me Wednesday tips, head over to Shannon’s place at Rocks in My Dryer.
Cammie said,
May 9, 2007 @ 3:14 pm
Thanks….I’ve been struggling with a whiney boy all day! I needed that perspective.
Amy Jane said,
May 9, 2007 @ 6:06 pm
What a neat idea.
I too have a child hard-wired emotional, and it is *such* a hard thing to have to judge from moment to moment if this reaction is manipulation or not.
SeaBird said,
May 9, 2007 @ 9:47 pm
“Whining is disrespectiful”…. I plan to use this phrase!!
Jane said,
May 9, 2007 @ 10:01 pm
A lovely way to grow up!
Sarah said,
May 9, 2007 @ 10:14 pm
I’ll have to give this one a try. My two year old was pretty sick a few months back and so for that week or two we slacked on all discipline and gave in to whining. Well, he caught on and kept it up after he was back in good health. Now he whines for anything and everything and I am going nuts. It’s nice to have a new tactic to try out. Thanks.
Melissa said,
May 9, 2007 @ 11:30 pm
Thanks for the great idea…. tying in the fact that whining/tantrums/disobeidience are disrespectful and not what God askes kids to do in the Bible “honor your father and mother”. Awesome… gonna try it now!
Diane said,
May 10, 2007 @ 9:25 am
This is a wise response to her whining! I think “catching her when she’s doing it right” and reinforcing the positive behavior is a big key here! Blessings as you raise her for Him. Diane